Farts would smell like roses3. Dogs would smell spring fresh4. Babies would come from vending machines5. Men would be born with a permanent erection6. All women would have the same size breasts7. There would be no cellulite8. Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE9. Men would be born with an “OFF” switch10. There would be no “Hooters”11. A man’s paycheck would be made payable to his wife12. All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation in Hawaii!13. Men would inherit the menstrual cycle14. Men would come with software to be custom designed15. Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife16. Men would have a built in lie detector on forehead for instant verification of truth17. Men would be intelligent enough to tell the difference between six inches and three inches18. Sex would last longer than 3- seconds19. Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny and a kiss on the cheek20. Viagra becomes an over the counter drug.When George Burns. .." "HOLY SHIT!", I screamed at the top of my lungs. I let out a large whoop and ran straight to my car dropping the rest of the mail on the front porch. I had to tell my parents right away, my mom would be so happy. My parents owned a small taxidermy shop in town, it had been passed down to them from my grandparents. Since launching a website a few years ago that allowed for online ordering and the ability to have a****ls shipped in they had seen a huge increase boom in business and it kept them busy all hours of the day. When I arrived in front of the shop I jumped out of my car almost forgetting to put it in park and with my acceptance letter in hand I ran inside and screamed at the top of my lungs. "I got in!"My Mom and Dad both looked up from the furs they were hunched over. With puzzled looks on their faces they stared at me trying to grasp what it was I was screaming about. Then as they noticed the letter I was waving in the air you could see a sense of realization as to what.
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